Poor Cinderella, whose stepmom was mean, could never see films rated PG-13. She hadn't a cell phone and no DVD, no notebook computer or pocket TV. She wasn't allowed to play video games. The tags on her clothes had unfashionable names. Her shoes were not trendy enough to be cool. No limousine chauffeur would drive her to school. Her house had no drawing room; only a den. Her bedtime, poor darling, was quarter past ten!
Well one day Prince Charming declared that a ball would be held in his honor and maidens from all over the kingdom were welcome to come and party to techno and jungle house drum.
But Poor Cinderella, with nothing to wear, collapsed in her stepmother's La-Z-Boy chair. She let out a sigh, with a lump in her throat, then sniffled and picked up the TV remote. She surfed channel zero to channel one-ten then went back to zero and started again. She watched music videos, sitcoms and sports, commercials and talkshows and weather reports.
But no fairy godmother came to her side to offer a dress or a carriage to ride. So Poor Cinderella's been sitting there since, while one of her stepsisters married the Prince. She sits there and sadly complains to the screen, if only her stepmother wasn't so mean.